


So close yet so far

by TheShySalamander



Category: f1, formula 1 - Fandom
Genre: Aha, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Champagne, Cuddling & Snuggling, Feels, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, LGBTQ Character, Lando Norris dealing with his emotions the British Way, Like Family - Freeform, Liquid Guilt, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Perfectionism, Pining, Plan B, Relationship(s), Romance, Spice, Writtenwhenauthorshouldbeasleep, im not good at tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:28:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26957335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheShySalamander/pseuds/TheShySalamander
Summary: When Hamilton has a power problem, Lando sees his chance. In a split moment, he overtakes but all he had won was lost when Hamilton sped past once again followed by Verstappen. Lando came 3rd. His second podium. But is it good enough?
Relationships: Alex Albon/George Russell, Charles Leclerc & Max Verstappen, Charles Leclerc/Daniel Ricciardo, Charles Leclerc/Lando Norris, Charles Leclerc/Lando Norris/Max Verstappen, Charles Leclerc/Lando Norris/Max Verstappen/Daniel Ricciardo, Daniel Ricciardo/Max Verstappen, Lando Norris - Relationship, Lando Norris/Daniel Ricciardo, Lando Norris/Max Verstappen
Comments: 2
Kudos: 85





	1. Chapter 1

“I’ve got no power”

“Ok, understood, we’re working on it keep going for now”

Lando sped around the corner, his eyes locked on the Mercedes in front. One mistake, just one from Hamilton and he would be in front. He hung on to the golden thread of hope, watching as the Mercedes slowed for the corner. 

Brake late, brake late. 

Lando murmured, trusting the car as he braked at the last minute. A slight sigh as he made the corner, coming up close to Hamilton. He pressed down on the accelerator just a little more. They were on the main straight, he only had a few seconds before they reached the next corner. 

Turn wide, brake late, pull in.

His thoughts calm, he took action. He let himself turn wide, on the outside of the Mercedes. He broke later, then Hamilton. Then he pulled in, in front of the roaring car. He could almost hear Hamilton’s tyre lock up as he fell behind. He felt excitement and shock hit him. Lando let out a whoop, sheer happiness filling his being. 

“I’ve got no power! Norris is in front!”

“Ok, understood, default 3, default 3”

“Ok”

A sudden burst and the Mercedes launched forward, passing the McLaren with flying speed. Lando’s hopes dropped, with only one lap left he couldn’t remake the position especially with Hamilton’s newfound power. His happiness quickly ebbed away as Verstappen passed him, a deflated cry fell from his lips as he struggled to keep Leclerc behind him. It was tedious, hanging between Verstappen and Leclerc. Verstappen pushing forward, trying to shake him off. Whilst Leclerc took every chance he could to try to get ahead, trying hundreds of strategies. In the end, Landomanaged, crossing the line half a second before Leclerc. 

He pulled towards the pit lane, slowing as he reached the podium position parking spot. He pulled into 3rd spot, stepping out he heard the excited shouts of his team and fans. But why were they shouting for him? He came 3rd not 1st, 3rd. He could have come 1st yet they don’t seem to care. Why didn’t they care?! It was so frustrating, did they not see how he had messed up? Could they not see he had cost the team two places?! 

Lando shakes his head, moving his attention to stepping out the car. So he doesn’t make even more of a fool of himself. He found himself, hesitantly and unwillingly accepting the fist bump both Hamilton and Verstappen spared for him. Taking off his helmet, he walked to the 3rd place table. Placing down his gloves, he moved past holding his helmet between his arm and torso. He glanced behind him, seeing Leclerc frown to himself as he walked away. He felt shot of guilt, that burned like whiskey slide down his throat, choking him. 

He turned, watching as Hamilton bustled past moving towards the door out, he stood at the back for a while mustering up his lines for his incoming interview. He followed out the door. Lando was soon found by one of the McLaren members. Distracted. Guilty. Disappointed. Dissatisfied. 

“Hey, Lando were you going? You’ve got the first interview, come on!” He let himself be dragged away, his stomach writhing.

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Wearily, he hauled himself out the cab. Stiffly Lando hobbled inside, freezing. He hadn’t had the time to shower, his clothes still reeking of the champagne he didn’t deserve. The guilt so pungent, he had aimed his own bottle only at the crowd, showering the fans instead of himself. But his fellow drivers on the podium hadn’t understood his reluctance to shower himself, and so had soaked him as if pouring his own shame over him. 

His guilt had only got worse. It felt like the champagne was liquid guilt, as soon as it had touched his clothes it had pulled him down. Burdening him, as he staggered away from the podiums. Burdening him, as he was pushed into a taxi. Revealing how undeserving of his place, and how his place was not good enough. His place should have been taken from him, Leclerc was more than deserving. 

Shaking his head didn’t help get rid of his thoughts. 

He shivered making his way to the elevator, unsure of whether his legs would be able to support him if he chose the stairs. Blinking, he jumped as he saw Daniel, Max, Charles, George and Alex all standing chatting inside. Lando stood outside, the open elevator mind sluggishly chugging through what he was seeing. 

“Hey Lando, you getting in?”

He blinked. 

“Erm yeah”

Slowly, he stepped inside eyes glued to the floor. He felt the elevator doors shut behind him. Chancing a glance up he saw the others staring at him, questions burning in their eyes. His eyes widened, shooting back to the floor. It felt like an eternity until the door opened at their stop, it didn’t help that the entire ride was silent. The others had only stared at him or glanced between one another as if talking telepathically. As the elevator pulled slowly to a stop, Lando immediately rushed out, speeding towards his room. Almost faster than he had previously at the race. He just needed some time to himself, away from the race.

Fumbling, Lando swiped his key card swiping. His hand grasped the handle. Watching the light. It blinked. Red to green. He took a breath. Pushing the door open. He froze. A hand fell on his shoulder. Hot breath washing against his neck. The hand was heavy. It held him still. His eyes were wide. Lando waited.

“You alright?” 

“I’m- i’m fine”

A loud sigh from behind him, raised goosebumps as it blew across his skin. He shivered. Gently, the hand pushed him forward into his room. Each step only made his heart beat faster. Once inside he turned. Watching with weary eyes as Daniel walked in after him, his hand falling to his side. Lando’s eyes widened further as the others from the elevator entered after. 

“Guys, what are you-?”

His eyes followed Max, as he wandered into the en-suite appearing again with a towel. Max barely batted an eyelid, instead only raising a brow. Lando frowned, catching the towel as Max threw it at him. 

“Go take a shower, then we’ll talk” Charles spoke for him, eyeing Lando up.

“What?”

“You heard him” This time George had replied, nodding to Daniel who pushed him gently towards the en-suite. 

“Fine” 

He said, still looking around confusedly. Slowly, he walked into the en-suite. Uncomfortable, he undressed. Knowing his competitors and fellow drivers were only in the next room. He stepped into the shower of thoughts. 

Why were they here? What did they want to talk about? What if they want him to leave? What if they think he’s not good enough? What if they hate him?! What if they think Leclerc should have gotten his place? He did deserve it more. Yeah, it must be something like that. 

He let out a groan, raking his fingers through his hair. It wasn’t long till the water turned cold, and he was forced due to his decreasing temperature to step out the shower and wrap himself in the towel. No matter how much he wanted to avoid this anticipated conflict, he was still susceptible to the changing of temperatures. He had to face his inevitable fall, it was then he realised he was empty of a change of clothes.

“Erm guys? Can you pass some clothes in?” He shouted stuttering with embarrassment. Way to go, Lando, make yourself look like a fool once again. 

“Oh yeah” came the muffled reply, there was some shuffling outside before the door opened partly. A hand he recognised as George’s hand in a pile of clothes. Quickly he retrieved his clothes, before shutting the door. He changed quickly, nerves building in his stomach as his brain anticipated the worst.

He opened the door slowly, stepping back into his room. Instantly, he was pulled by Max towards the bed. He must’ve blushed beetroot red because as soon as Alex saw his face he burst out laughing. Lando cringed hiding his face as he was pulled onto the bed. Soon he was placed in the middle back against the headboard surrounded. He looked at the bed, fidgeting with his hands. He could feel all the other drivers eyes on him, his heart beating loudly in his chest.

“So.... what do you want to talk about?”


	2. Chapter 2

A tense silence followed, as they all stared at him. Silence the only sound. Lando shuffled, eyes darting from driver to driver looking for a clue if what was to come. His heartbeat fast in his chest as he kept his thoughts at bay.

“Lando” 

His eyes snapped to Charles, frowning in confusion as he saw the sympathy and sadness in his face. 

“What?”

Charles’ expression only saddened, as he looked at him. A sigh fell from his lips. 

“Charles what's wrong?” Lando questioned, worry filling his features as he looked back at Charles.

“Lando... nothings wrong”

Lando’s frown deepened, eyes flickering from Charles to Max to George, to Daniel, then Alex and back to Charles. Each of them held the same expression. 

“Then what is it you wanted to talk about and why do you look so... sad?”

He watched as Daniel and Max glanced between themselves. Charles only sighed, as George and Alex sat silently on each side. 

“Lando... are you- are you ok?” 

The group watched in their semicircle as Lando paled, eyes shifting to the bedsheets. George and Alex glancing at his hands as they grasped the sheets. 

“I’m fine”

This time it was Daniel who sighed.

“Lando.... do you really expect us to believe you are fine when you're clearly not?”

“Guys is this all this is about? Because seriously I'm fine, I'm good- I got p3 why wouldn’t I be?” 

This apparently warranted a groan from all drivers other than Lando. A bemused smile crossed Lando’s face, at the synchronised sound. Alex and George passed a look as they saw Charles, Max and Daniel’s faces soften at the sight. 

“Because you have been caught up in your head more lately, and we have noticed you seemed to be avoiding Max, Charles and I” Daniel explained a concerned expression showing freely on his face. As both Max and Charles nodded beside him. 

“And every time we ask if you want to hang out or walk into the same room as you, you either decline or just make an excuse and walk away- we just want to know why?” Charles added looking sadly at him.

Lando swallowed.

It was at this point where both George and Alec decided to add their input. 

“Lando if you don’t tell them what’s wrong, we’ll find a way to get it out of you,” Alex said crossing his arm as he stared unimpressed.

“It’s either the easy way or the hard way” George added smirking evilly.

“Guys...?”

Max, Daniel and Charles looked to each other confused watching the Lando think. 

“Wait-“ his eyes widened, “no no no you wouldn't do that”

“Oh we would” 

“You wouldn’t”

“We would”

“You wouldn’t dare!”

“You sure about that?”

"Your bluffing!"

"Are you going to take that risk?" George lifted an eyebrow, an obvious smirk playing on his lips.

Lando stalled, panic filling his system at the obvious threat Alex and George were pulling. 

“You guys wouldn’t do what?” Charles butted in speaking for those who had originally been leading the confrontation. This only made George and Alex snigger at Lando’s face. 

“It’s up to you Lando, you explain what’s up or we will use plan B”


	3. Chapter 3

Lando swallowed once again, his thoughts flying through his head as he snapped from Alex back to George. He couldn’t tell if they were serious, would they really do it? Could he risk it? He took a deep breath, opening his mouth to speak. 

It snapped shut. His eyes squinting as a frown fell onto his face. A suspicious gaze filtered back and forth between George and Alex. Are they serious?

“Did you tell them already?!” Lando pressured watching their faces closely. 

“No”

“No- we just pointed out how you seemed to be avoiding them”

Lando really couldn’t believe them at this point. They knew why and they had promised not to tell anyone especially not THEM and what did they do? 

“Guys I hate you”

“No you don’t”

“You love us really, now come on what are you going to do?”

Lando’s thoughts still raced but some had dyed away as he realised he was not being confronted about his mental problems. Oh god, he must have confused them a bit when he asked about why- wait no he wouldn’t. It’s ok. It’s fine. They are oblivious, he’s just gotta get George and Alex to let it go before they go give them another little hint. But that would have to wait, first, he needed to get out of this situation. Ok. Three courses of action. One. Run. Two. Tell the truth. Three. Deny knowing what’s they are talking about even though he has already proven he does.

Unfortunately for Lando, due to his thoughts panicking and shooting from idea to idea his brain decided the last option was the best.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about”

A loud laugh forced its way from George’s mouth as he looked over at Alex in disbelief. Alex looked equally as amused as he looked back at Lando.

“That’s not gonna work well for you mate” 

“What are you talking about?” 

He couldn’t turn back now, he kept his expression calm and confused. He risked a glance at the other three, who was were sat silent watching in confusion at the scene in front of them. 

“Plan B it is”

Lando gulped quietly.

“Daniel sit next to Lando, will you? Charles on the other side, Max in front” George commanded, watching as Lando’s eyes widened.

The drivers shuffled into place each with very confused expressions but for the moment following what George said. Max and Charles shared a look of confusion as they all squeezed next to Lando. As Daniel sat down in his new place his hand accidentally brushed Lando’s who snapped his own hand to his lap. 

“Lando care to explain why now?”

“I still have no- no idea what your talking- talking about” He stuttered as his heart pounded the proximity proving to be effective. 

“Would you really rather that we tell them?” Alex asked curiously.

“NO!”

“Ahah! Got ya! Now go on tell them then” George smirked triumphantly giving an equally smug Alex a high five.

“Lando- can you please explain?” Charles asked carefully as he looked at him.

Lando shook his head, letting it fall into his hands. Tears pricked his eyes, as he thought of the consequences. They would hate him, he had messed everything up, screwed up his relationships and he couldn’t even explain why he was such a bad person.

His breathing started to quicken, as he felt hot tears stream down his face coating his hands as he shielded himself from the others. He closed his eyes, as he started to silently sob. It was his fault. His fault. He wasn’t good enough. Not for them. He had let them down and they were worried about him. He couldn’t even explain why. They wouldn’t want anyone like him, they must just be concerned about why he was avoiding him. He had ruined everything! Lando was soon lost in his thoughts, drowning in his ocean of evil as it dragged him down and down.


	4. Chapter 4

His lungs burnt, gasping for air. Violently, he spluttered. His hands clutching the sheet she as if they would save him from the swirling nightmare that plagued his mind. His screwed his eyes shut. No air filled his lungs, yet it filled his head plentiful. As he flailed in the starless night, he could not feel his sobs and cries grow or feel his hands start to shake. Erratic breaths still struggled through him. Through the midst of torment, the gasp of his friend was unheard. The howling of his rushing thoughts only grew louder and louder. Over and over. 

Daniel's eyes widened. His eyes raking over Lando’s hunched form, listening to the stuttering, breaths that’s heaved out of Lando. At first, he had thought he was curling inwards just to avoid answering the question, it had annoyed him. What had Lando been keeping from them? Why didn’t he tell them but tell George and Alex?!

But whilst he had stewed in his confusion and annoyance, he eyes had notice something was wrong. Lando was shaking. Not like shivering, but he was full-on shaking, his shoulders jumping. Daniel hesitated, his hand reaching out. He ignored Charles and Max as they furiously squabbled with George and Alex. Gently, he placed his hand on the small of Lando’s back. Almost immediately he felt Lando flinch away from the contact. He let out a small gasp, before looking up for help. He frowned as he watched them argue, obviously oblivious to Lando’s situation. 

“Guys!” He shouted, eyes darting back to Lando. 

After seeing no response he slowly began rubbing circles into Lando’s back cringing at the tremors racking through him. He heard some shifting, lifting his eyes he saw Charles curl up behind Lando awkwardly looping his arms around him. Charles looked up motioning to Daniel to follow his lead. Daniel immediately shuffled down. Laying facing Lando he carefully held him close, one hand meeting Charles’. At the sound of more shuffling, Daniel peered up. Watching as Max wormed his way over the top, leaning his head comfortably on Daniel's shoulder his arm draped just above Lando’s head it calmly played with his short strands of hair. Slowly, Lando’s breathing slowed from its heaving bouts to a steady rhythm. 

Lando’s head moved up, allowing Max and Daniel to see the large tear stains streaming down his cheeks, as well as his red, swelled eyes. Using his sweater, Max lightly wiped away the remaining tears. The three’s eyes met, a silent promise being passed among them, as a soft snore escaped Lando.

Glancing away, Daniel spied George and Alex stood at the end of the bed phones in hand. As George met his gaze he smiled nervously, nudging Alex before racing out the room with Alex on his tail.

The four were left alone.


	5. Chapter 5

Lando awoke to silence.

Darkness encompassed him, covering him like a blanket as he stared blankly in the vague direction of the where he though the ceiling used to be. He couldn't really tell. It could be to the side if that was the side. Or was it the other side? He didn't know. A heavy weight was thrown across him. He felt it had been their a while, laid across his side. Strangely, he did not remember how it got there. He didn't mind. He stifled a yawn, shuffling back into the warm embrace of... well something. What was it? He didn't know. He didn't mind. A breeze of air blew through his hair, from where? He could not think where. His nose scrunched, burying his head into another warm... something. Was it a pillow? He didn't know. He didn't mind. The breeze stopped. Good. Sleepily he shuffled, turning his head to the side as he did. He caught the faint smell of sandalwood and orange. It was nice. 

Lando's eyes closed, heavy from sleep. The warm somethings that surrounded him, snuggled closer. He didn't mind. A small yawn escaping his mouth, as he snoozed. He dozed, slipping between the blankness of unconsciousness and the warmth of consciousness. Eventually, he drowsed awake. He left his eyes closed. He laid content for what could have been a few minutes or a few seconds. He couldn't tell. He didn't mind. Until he did. One of the somethings started to move. He frowned. Clumsily, his hands searched grabbing the front of the something that had moved. He tugged. The something resisted. He minded. Pouting, he turned to turn towards the missing something, eyes opening to see a blurry outline of a shape in the slightly lighter room.

He heard a slight groan. Was it a groan? He didn't know. It didn't matter. But he did mind. He tugged harder, unconsciously smiling when he felt the something move back. He heard the something make a noise, that sounded suspiciously like a chuckle. It sounded familiar. It sounded nice. He smiled. Then he got a thought.

Was it a dream?

He didn't know.

But it defiantly mattered.

And he defiantly minded. 

He hoped it was real.


End file.
